What Addicts and Their Loved Ones Need to Know NOW

For the Addict/ Alcoholic: (P.S. Alcohol is a drug.)

What you need to know about your Addiction.For the Addict/ Alcoholic: (P.S. Alcohol is a drug.)

1) It is a brain disease that happens to some people because of the way our human brains respond to mood-altering chemicals. 
2) You probably feel shame for some of the things you have done when using or in order to get drugs. It’s not your fault. Yes, you did do drugs, but you did not plan this. No one says "Hey, I'm going to do drugs and alcohol until I become an addict and do things I would never do if I were in my right mind!" You set out to have fun and feel better, or maybe even just OK inside your own skin. Maybe you never learned other coping skills or struggle with depression or anxiety. Now you have those problems and an even bigger problem called Addiction.
3) Yes, we really mean it when we say, this disease is cunning, baffling, powerful, and with time, it will land you in jail or mental institutions, and KILL you! I am sure you already know of people who have died or overdosed, been arrested, etc. This is reality.
4) If you want it, there is help. There is hope. There is a way that millions of people have found happiness and friendship and a way out of suffering. It is called getting clean and sober and practicing a new way of life using the 12 steps of recovery. Detox, treatment and therapy are needed by most people to be successful with fewer or no relapses.
5) Addiction is not a question of a lack of will power. No one can just will themselves to not have a disease, especially one that tries to convince you that you don’t have it!
6) IT IS NOT POSSIBLE TO BEAT THIS THING ALONE! You need help. You CAN choose, with help, to do what it takes to stay sober, JUST FOR TODAY, just for this hour, just for this minute.
7) The promises CAN come true. You can have a happy, sober life that is better than average. You have to treat this disease every day and work a program of recovery.

What it takes to beat this disease:

1. Other people. Support. People who know the lies your disease tells you and can call you on them. I know of only a FEW places where that happens routinely. ONE - at 12 step meetings talking with other sober people. TWO - On the phone or in person with someone who has more experience beating this disease than you do, such as a sponsor, a therapist, a treatment team. THREE - sober living halfway houses.
2. Willingness. We all want an easier way where we don’t have to change, and we can still stop suffering. That is not REALITY. You keep doing what you are doing, you keep getting what you got. You are NOT the exception. Deep down, you KNOW you are an addict. Stop trying to prove you are not! You can want to want this. If you want a chance at life, PLEASE stop using again and surrender to the fact that right now, you DON’T know how to do this thing called life. Accept the truth. You need it to live.
3. ACTION. Do the next right thing, whether you feel like it or not! Go to at least a meeting a day for at least 90 days, get a sponsor, call them, tell the truth, be open, work the steps and NO MATTER WHAT do not pick up, use, drink or harm yourself!
4. Compassion. You need to start learning that you are NOT what you have done, or the bad choices you have made. You can be a winner. You deserve to live. You deserve love and happiness. Every day is a new beginning.
5. Look online for local meetings of Narcotics & Alcoholics Anonymous. Go. Listen. Share.

For the Co-Addict or Co-dependent (the person living with the insanity of you in your disease):

1. You need to decide if you are going to love your addict/alcoholic or their disease. Enabling them to keep doing what they are doing (using) if they are not treating their disease is helping their disease to progress.
2. You can’t reason with someone in active addiction who is high or in withdrawal. Their brain drives them to use by sending cravings, as they have permanently imbalanced their neurochemistry with their use. Their old survival brain believes they may die if they don’t use, and soon!
3. When they are using or wanting to use, without the support of a solid program of recovery and a period of clean time, you (and everyone) become either a way to help them get drugs or an obstacle to them using. When faced with “possibly dying today” (addict mind thinks it may die without drugs) versus “dealing with everything else”, which do you think they will choose?
4. It’s your job to tell them you are not going to watch them kill themselves and to support them in getting appropriate medical treatment and support as soon as possible after a relapse. When they are still using (less than 30 days ago) they are not necessarily in a space to make the decision to want sobriety, but time (at least 30 days) in a safe, monitored, sober place of recovery with peers can help them want it.
5. The GOLD standard of care for addicts and alcoholics is 90 days of residential treatment with supportive halfway house living for at least 3 to 6 months after that if needed. The next best is 45 days. If a person has dual diagnosis or personality disorder traits, they probably need longer. Unfortunately, not everyone can get that level of care. Ask mental health therapists for recommended treatment centers with good reputations.
6. The younger a person is, the more likely it will be difficult for them to want recovery. It is important that they learn life skills in treatment and become open to finding meaning and spirituality (that which connects us) in their life.
7. This disease and your powerlessness over your loved ones makes you sick and crazy in predictable ways (codependent and neglecting your own health.)
8. YOU DID NOT CAUSE IT. YOU CANNOT CURE IT. YOU CAN NOT CONTROL YOUR ADDICT. YOU CAN MAKE THE PROGRESSION OF THIS DISEASE (theirs and yours) WORSE OR BETTER BY YOUR RESPONSES AND BOUNDARIES.
9. Go to Al-Anon or Nar-Anon or CODA and get help, NOW! http://www.alanonatl.com/ Therapy is good for you, also, as dealing with addiction and trying to stay sane is one of the hardest things anyone can do. Check out this webpage on how to intervene. http://lovefirst.net/wpt/ Reach out to a qualified interventionist specialist to get your loved one into treatment, if you need them and can afford them. http://associationofinterventionspecialists.org/ais_members.php
10. Do what you must do today to stay sane and set clear boundaries and tomorrow will take care of itself. Do what you can, let go of the rest. Ask for help.

Be well, be strong, get support, make the next right choice.


Lisa Cottrell, LPC
Psychotherapist
Well Being Psychotherapy
Atlanta, Georgia
404-931-3066

Specializing in treating Addiction, Trauma, PTSD, Depression, Anxiety
Copyright August, 2012
Lisa Cottrell, LPC
Psychotherapist
Well Being Psychotherapy
Atlanta, Georgia
404-931-3066
www.wellbeingpsychotherapy.net


Specializing in treating Addiction, Trauma, PTSD, Depression, Anxiety
Copyright August, 2012
Lisa Cottrell, LPC
Psychotherapist
Well Being Psychotherapy
Atlanta, Georgia
404-931-3066
www.wellbeingpsychotherapy.net


Specializing in treating Addiction, Trauma, PTSD, Depression, Anxiety
Copyright August, 2012