Accumulate Positive Emotions

a) Do pleasant things that you enjoy every day. Feed your soul
b) Make plans to do more pleasant, meaningful things in future
c) Develop an attitude of gratitude
d) Develop and maintain friendships and important relationships

Build Mastery

a) Do things that make you feel competent and effective
b) Make a list and cross accomplishments off your list when done
c) Plan and do instead of procrastinating 

Cope Ahead with difficult or emotional situations

a) Expect the best instead of the worst
b) Plan for what you will do to cope with a situation and its challenges
c) Get advice and support from others 

Practice Self-Care

a) Live according to your values and goals
b) Be kind to yourself
c) Reassure yourself
d) Create routines and a schedule
e) Manage your finances responsibly; use a budget; track expenses
f) Get regular exercise. Treat physical and mental illness
g) Eat in a balanced, healthy way
h) Try to get enough sleep
i) Find moments to just be
j) Let go of worries. Accept what is. Change what you can.
k) Practice mindfulness. Meditate.
l) Get support. Give support

Ask yourself every day: 

What things can I do today that will build on these life skills? 

Make plans and take action. Avoid avoiding.
Do as many of these things a in day or week as you can.

Hey friends,

I'm excited to share that I was interviewed recently by ShoutOut Atlanta about work life balance, my work and interests. They focus on local businesses and artists. 

You can read the article here: 
https://shoutoutatlanta.com/meet-lisa-cottrell-psychotherapist-meditation-teacher-poet-and-photographer  

Also, check out and subscribe to my YouTube channel for tips on well being and guided meditations as well as relaxing beach videos.
Be Well, Be Happy, Be You  
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC9Yb4TIMegXqSTZwoX9mZpg/about 
​
Lastly, you can follow Well Being Psychotherapy on Facebook for inspiring quotes and articles, etc. 

With love,

Lisa

1) Notice sensations of bodily contact here and now. Feel your feet on the floor and, if you are seated, your bottom in the chair. Feel the sensations of contact. Feel the support of the chair and the floor and the earth beneath you. Drop your awareness into your body. Try to feel the body from the inside, from the feet and the bottom, not just looking down from your head. Feel the sensations of pressure, temperature, tingling, energy. Feel the sensation of socks, shoes and clothing. Feel your spine. Feel the support of gravity. You are here. Allow awareness to arrive in your body here and now.

2) Scan your body for places you are holding tension, Drop and relax 4 areas of the body. Feel the face. Allow the forehead and brow to soften, allow the jaw to drop open and relax, allow the shoulders to drop and soften, allow the belly to relax and be soft. Just allow any places of obvious tension to relax as much as they are able right now, don’t force anything. There may be places of chronic tension (and the parts that hold them) that need more attention and support before they can fully relax.

3) Practice paced breathing for several rounds, especially when you feel activated or triggeredThis helps the nervous system and the body know you are safe. Remind yourself you are safe right now.

Option A) Count the seconds of this first in-breath, hold for 2 seconds, then double the seconds of the exhale. Count again the next breath, hold for 2 seconds and double the exhale. (repeat 2 or 3 times)
Option B) Breathe in for 4 or 5 seconds, hold for 2 seconds, then out for 8 to 10 seconds.

4) Practice 5-4-3-2-1 Mindfulness. Name 5 things you see, 4 you can touch, 3 you can hear, 2 you can smell, and take 1 mindful breath, or taste 1 thing.

5) Set an intention to arrive here and now in the present moment. Notice you are safe. (If you are currently in danger, get yourself to safety right away. Ask for help and support. Note that most of us are physically safe 99% of the time.)

Focus on a neutral anchor to ground you in the present moment. For most people, the breath is a good anchor to present moment reality. For others, mindfulness of sounds or bodily sensations are more helpful. Maybe take one or two deep breaths then let the breath return to its normal pattern, without controlling it. Just notice you are breathing, in and out. Focus on the breath, feel it in the body, then when you start having thoughts, which is what the mind does, and you notice you have wandered, return to the breath without judgment. Coming to the present allows mind and body to calm and relax. Practice mindful breathing for a few moments. Let go of worries for now. Plan later. Daily meditation has a lot of mental and physical health benefits - try 5 to 30 minutes a day.

6) Use Guided Imagery. To start, imagine yourself on a swing, paying attention to the internal feelings of the movement. The rocking motion of the swing actually opens the breath in a different way than breathing exercises. This can be very soothing.

7) Use Containment Imagery.You can imagine a chest, safe, or other container. Imagine placing the disturbing thoughts or images in that chest or container, and locking it securely until you’re ready to process them more fully, perhaps send it to your therapist’s office.

8) Use Safe Place or Sacred Space Imagery. You can base this place on any real, fictional, or imaginary location where you feel calm or content, and can design it however you like. It’s a place where you have complete control. Imagine being there and feeling safe and relaxed.

These practices help calm your nervous system and that helps reduce anxiety. Remember, it's not helpful to judge yourself for how you are feeling. Bring self-compassion and kindness to your suffering, like you would to a good friend. 

Want more happiness and well being? Please check out My YouTube channel and Subscribe to Be Well, Be Happy, Be You!

youtube.com/channel/UC9Yb4TIMegXqSTZwoX9mZpg 

Visit for Meditations, tips, tools and practices from a licensed psychotherapist helping you learn to be well and be happy. Videos from founder of Well Being Psychotherapy, Lisa Cottrell, LPC and other guests. Lisa has over 20 years of counseling and coaching experience. She is trained in Mindfulness, CBT, DBT, Internal Family Systems therapy, Non-Violent Communication, EMDR, Brainspotting and many other techniques. She is also a mindful meditation instructor with decades of experience. She has studied with many meditations teachers including Thich Nhat Hahn, Tara Brach and Jack Kornfield. 

This channel is a support to your personal growth and healing, it is not a substitute for therapy for mental health issues. 

@bewellbehappybeyou2196

Thank you!

Lisa Cottrell, LPC

Mindfulness is a practice that we can learn to use to help us to be more present in the moment and to enjoy our lives more fully. Our minds think a lot, which is often very helpful, but if we think too much about the past and the future, we often miss our life as it is happening. Mindfulness meditation is a way to train our minds and hearts to be more aware and present. Mindfulness teaches us new, more effective ways to relate to our thoughts, feelings, body sensations, and life around us. Ultimately, the practice can teach us how to let go of unnecessary suffering and be more free.

Why meditate? 

There are a lot of different types of meditation. Mindfulness meditation helps us develop insights into the nature of the mind, and to develop compassion and understanding. Meditation helps us find inner stability, well being, confidence, compassion, and wisdom, which helps us be better equipped to take compassionate action in our lives and the world. 

Additionally, many scientific studies have shown the benefits of practicing mindful meditation.

Some of the proven benefits include:
Improved focus, attention, and awareness of how you think
Improved mental health
Increased positive emotions
Reduced anxiety and depression
Reduced worry and rumination
Reduced stress and anxiety
Reduced emotional reactivity
Reduced cortisol
Decreased negative affect and depression
Positive impact on numerous areas of the brain
Improved immune system functioning
Lowered blood pressure
Reduced chronic pain
Improved memory
Increased attention span
Enhanced willpower
Reduced insomnia & improved sleep
Improved perception of quality of life
Help with caregiver burnout for healthcare providers
Increase resilience by reducing size of the amygdala and the stress response
Improve cognitive flexibility

If you want to learn more about Mindful Meditation, consider taking an Introductory Course with Lisa Cottrell, LPC. Live online (Zoom) 4 week course. Other courses to follow. Lisa has taught mindfulness and meditation for over 20 years and studied with many teachers.
Please register at wellbeingpsychotherapy.net/classes-and-workshops.html If you have questions, contact lisawellbeing@gmail.com.

1) Notice sensations of bodily contact 

Feel your feet on the floor and, if you are seated, your bottom in the chair. Feel the sensations of contact. Feel the support of the chair and the floor and the earth beneath you. Drop your awareness into your body. Try to feel the body from the inside, from the feet and the bottom, not just looking down from your head. Feel the sensations of pressure, temperature, tingling, energy. Feel the sensation of socks, shoes and clothing. Feel your spine. Feel the support of gravity. You are here. Allow awareness to arrive in your body here and now.

2) Scan your body for places you are holding tension, Drop 4 areas

Feel the face. Allow the forehead and brow to soften, allow the jaw to drop open and relax, allow the shoulders to drop and soften, allow the belly to relax and be soft. Just allow any places of obvious tension to relax as much as they are able right now, don’t force anything. There may be places of chronic tension (and the parts that hold them) that need more attention and support before they can fully relax. 

3) Set an intention to arrive here and now in the present moment. Notice you are safe. (If you are currently in danger, get yourself to safety right away. Note that most of us are physically safe 99% of the time.) 

Focus on a safe anchor to ground you in the present moment. For most people, the breath is a good anchor to present moment reality. For others, mindfulness of sounds or bodily sensations are more helpful. Maybe take one or two deep breaths then let the breath return to its normal pattern, without controlling it. Just notice you are breathing, in and out. Focus on the breath, feel it in the body, then when you start having thoughts, which is what the mind does, and you notice you have wandered, return to the breath without judgment. Coming to the present allows mind and body to calm and relax. Practice mindful breathing for a few moments. Let go of worries for now. Plan later. Daily meditation has a lot of mental and physical health benefits - try 5 to 30 minutes a day.

4) If you feel activated or triggered, practice paced breathing for several rounds. This helps the nervous system and the body know you are safe. Also, remind yourself you are safe right now.

Option A) Count the seconds of this first in-breath, hold for 2 seconds, then double the seconds of the exhale. Count again the next breath, hold for 2 seconds and double the exhale. (repeat 2 or 3 times) 

Option B) Breathe in for 4 or 5 seconds, hold for 2 seconds, then out for 8 to 10 seconds. 

Instead of New Year’s Resolutions

Happy New Year! Many of us have good intentions of making changes in our lives, especially around the start of a New Year. We make resolutions to change that don’t last very long. We make mistakes in the way we go about trying to change.We get too ambitious or are too vague and don’t create structures to make it easier to change. We don’t decide how we are going to make other changes in our life and habits to support reaching a goal. We don’t give ourselves deadlines or break the goal down into manageable parts and decide when and how to start.

Sometimes we need someone to help hold us accountable, like a friend or therapist. Below is a worksheet I created. You can use it to help you start thinking about any changes you’d like to make in your life and ways to support yourself in making them.

One important key is to schedule your priorities. As you make choices, you may discover you have different parts of you that have conflicting wishes and priorities. Those can become obstacles. But, remember, the obstacles are the path! By moving forward, we can unearth those often unconscious habitual patterns of thinking and feeling and begin to make conscious choices.

PLANNING & CREATING A GOOD LIFE
IN ALIGNMENT WITH MY VISION AND VALUES

Pick 3 to 6 goals for this year.
Some might be about ways of being, some about achieving.​

GOAL /Promise to myself    BY WHEN (or daily/ongoing)? ________________

___________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________

HABITS/ ROUTINES THAT WILL HELP ME ACHIEVE MY GOAL

___________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________

MOTIVATION________________________________________________________

WHAT WILL I HAVE TO GIVE UP? (Behavior, habit or belief)

___________________________________________________________________

FIRST ACTION STEPS AND MILESTONES  - Break down into smaller tasks and schedule
___________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________


Wishing you success!

Warmly,

Lisa Cottrell, LPC
Well Being Psychotherapy

Dear ones,
​I am recommending that you enroll in this wonderful, short, free course to help you learn and practice mindfulness. It is called Mindfulness Daily. It provides 10 to 15 minutes of guided teachings a day for 40 days. It is taught by two world renowned meditation teachers who both also used to be psychotherapists, Tara Brach and Jack Kornfield. It can be accessed on the Sounds True webpage and free app. I really like their structured approach to teaching you about all the different things to which you can direct your mindful attention and different techniques. I also really like the free Plum Village app created by Thich Nhat Hahn and his monastics which has guided meditations and talks. There are some good teachers on the Insight Timer app, too, but not all teach mindful meditation. (There are lots of different types of meditation.)

I’d like to share some thoughts about mindfulness. As you know, all of life occurs in the present moment. In contrast to being here now, we often are “borrowing trouble” from the future or the past and are caught up in thoughts, worries or regrets. This is not to say we don’t need to analyze and plan sometimes, but we are often lost in thought and miss out on much of our life. We often live in a half-awake dream state imagining what might be and worrying over what is already over that we can not change. Mindfulness practice and mindful meditation are antidotes to these excessive mind habits.
​
Mindfulness is:

• to be aware and awake to the present moment and life as it is
• to know what you are thinking, feeling and doing moment to moment, with an attitude of openness and non-judgment.
• to practice touching life deeply in every moment.
• to bring our body and mind in harmony while we wash the dishes, drive the car, take our shower, and communicate with others.

Why choose to be mindful?

• To reduce suffering and increase wellbeing
• To increase control of your attention and choices
• To improve your mental and physical health as proven by lots of research
• To experience reality more clearly as it is
  • Experience interconnection and oneness
  • Connect to wisdom and intuition
  • Experience freedom in the moment

Rick Hansen describes the Three Pillars of Mind Training as focused attention, open awareness, and kind intention. This includes the practices of Mindfulness (open awareness or concentration,) Loving Kindness and Compassion training. Research and brain imaging show that the repeated practice of directing one’s attention and awareness can enhance neural connections, and turn momentary mindful states into more enduring mindful traits. So, we need to practice, practice, practice to become more mindful and have it change our brain and our perception. The more time we put into practice, the better the results. I encourage you to develop a regular mindfulness practice.

Warmly,

Lisa Cottrell, LPC

Dear Ones,

Do not wait. Do it now. Live now. As an older person with a history of procrastination, I can tell you you will regret the chances you missed. I wish I’d had more fun when I was young. I had fun, but I wish I’d played more, danced more, traveled more, eaten more calcium, and written that book. Like all of us, I had to overcome my negative conditioning and let go of many limiting beliefs to be more free, so I can have compassion for the reasons I didn’t. I needed a lot of support to recover from childhood neglect, trauma and learned helplessness.

Do the things that you want to do while you have the interest and energy. Listen to the call of your heart and soul. While there are many dreams I have fulfilled, others are still waiting. Time is fleeting. We go into a trance of forgetfulness and act as if we have forever, as if we will live forever, but we truly never know how long we have. You know this intellectually, but our denial of the reality of sickness, old age and death seeps into the way we live. Our whole culture is in denial. Denial of the vulnerability of our precious bodies and the precious ecosystems of this earth that give us life and sustain us.

I have adventurous friends who have been very active their whole lives, some of them traveling all of the continents and states, exploring and pursuing multiple successful careers, who are now in their sixties, seventies and eighties who find it difficult to do many of the things they once could do with ease. Do it now. Don’t wait. The problem is, you think you have time. Several of my friends died in their 40s. My mother died at 27, my aunt at 52. You never know. Wake up. I am telling myself this as well as you. Don’t delay.

If you want to be creative, be creative. Write that book or throw pots. If you want to travel, travel. If you want to spend more time with family, friends, or nature, do that. Maybe make new friends. If you want to meditate daily and go on retreats, do that. If you want to live within your means and save money, do that. If you want to move, move. If you want to leave your spouse, make a plan and don’t let fear stop you. If you want a new job, look and make a leap. Start your own business. Sell your business. Hike the Camino. Run for office. Work less. Tell those you love that you love them, every time you see them. Let yourself just sit in the sun and feel it on your skin. Just let yourself be and be OK.

Stop believing that you can’t. Stop believing you have to know how it will all turn out. You don’t and you can’t. Take a risk. Live a life. You will survive and perhaps thrive. Stop playing it too safe. Life the life YOU want. Do it now. Please. If you feel too scared to dare, work on that. That is where you start. We are all works in progress. Do the things that make you feel most alive. Live on purpose. I know you can.

With love,

Lisa

P.S. The song I was here is beautiful. I particularly love Willie Spence’s rendition he sang at age 21 on American Idol. He died in a car crash this year at age 23. Give it a listen. It’s inspiring. Willie was here. He dared to sing.


© Lisa Cottrell, 2022

Well Being Psychotherapy
www.wellbeingpsychotherapy.net


I was here - Beyoncé

I want to leave my footprints on the sands of time
Know there was something that, something that I left behind
When I leave this world, I'll leave no regrets
Leave something to remember, so they won't forget


I was here, I lived, I loved, I was here
I did, I've done, everything that I wanted
And it was more than I thought it would be
I will leave my mark so everyone will know I was here


I wanna say I lived each day, until I died
I know that I had something in somebody's life
The hearts I have touched, will be the proof that I leave
That I made a difference and this world will see


I was here, I lived, I loved, I was here
I did, I've done, everything that I wanted
And it was more than I thought it would be
I will leave my mark so everyone will know


I was here, I lived, I loved, I was here
I did, I've done, everything that I wanted
And it was more than I thought it would be
I will leave my mark so everyone will know
I was here


I just want them to know
That I gave my all, did my best
Brought someone some happiness
Left this world a little better just because
I was here


I was here, I lived, I loved, I was here
I did, I've done, everything that I wanted
And it was more than I thought it would be
I wanna leave my mark so everyone will know


I was here, I lived, I loved, I was here
I did, I've done
I was here, I lived, I loved, I was here
I did, I've done
I was here

​Beloved human,

There are ways to be happier, more at ease. They take practice. Two helpful practices are acceptance and gaining perspective. Life is both wonderful and difficult. Life is full of 10,000 joys and 10,000 sorrows. Some suffering is inevitable. However, we often make ourselves unhappy by unconsciously demanding that life always be pleasant and that everything should happen the way we prefer. 

My advice is to stop comparing every thing that happens to some imaginary ideal! A specific moment in time, and in that moment, an event that happens, can not be changed by judging, resisting and reacting to it.

We tend to keep judging every moment as “good” or “bad” based on what we want or prefer. We act as though we always know the best outcome. We then have positive or negative reactions based on our self-centered view. We need to remember that we often don’t actually know in the long run whether an event will be for the good or bad, helpful or unhelpful for ourselves or others. It is often both. 

Most of us have an inner two year old that just wants what they want when they want it - and that’s NOW. We often make up elaborate stories about how terrible a situation is or will be.  We suffer over not getting what we want. Of course, we prefer what we prefer, but our wise mind knows we aren’t always going to get it. We can choose to just acknowledge our wants as preferences and not make them conscious or unconscious demands.

When I first started practicing getting perspective on a situation that I was judging, I liked to kindly make a little fun of my entitled part by thinking to myself one of these two reminders: “Somebody around here should be damned and blamed, and it’s not me!” or, “Don’t they know I am Queen and Ruler of the Universe and they should do exactly what I want?” That made me laugh and helped me more gracefully accept disappointment and frustration.  It also helped me have more humility. 

A more helpful approach is to practice acceptance of the moment, say to ourselves “this belongs,” and soften our bodies and minds to it. This doesn’t mean we have to like it. It doesn’t mean we have to be passive or that we can’t try to change a future moment. By not accepting the moment, we are suffering over our suffering. 

I also try to remind myself that everyone is carrying a lot of burdens and not to judge others. Life can be hard. As far as self-criticism, we can ask our self-critic their concerns or fears and see if those concerns are valid, but also remind our critic that criticism is rarely helpful. Self-criticism tends to trigger an inner ashamed part and reinforce distorted beliefs we learned in childhood. It can also trigger inner protectors that may use avoidance, self-medication, or depression to cope instead of healthier coping skills. 

Our wise mind can bring a kind curiosity and respect for any of our self-critic’s concerns while sorting out any distorted thinking and unhelpful attitudes. We can learn to not let either the inner demanding two year old, the self-critic ,or the reactive protectors be in the driver’s seat of our heart-mind. In Internal Family Systems therapy, we learn to let the wise and compassionate Self be the leader of our internal parts. Let me know if you want to learn more. 

Lisa